Are You Prepared for the Party After Marriage?

Congratulations! You're finally married! But now what? The day you get married, everyone feels like they know what the night is going to be like. Throughout my life, I have known quite a few people in high school who had sex with a couple people during their time there. They took pride in that and would even make fun of those who was still a virgin. I never really understood those people. I mean why is that something they should take pride over and brag about. We have been raised in a world where things like pornography and having sex with a lot of people has kind of become normalized. 

For those of you who are single and even those who are married that haven't had sex yet, don't feel left out. It's a sacred experience and it's not something that shouldn't be rushed. Many people have in their heads a certain expectation of what it's supposed to be like because of what's portrayed in movies, stories, and more. But with this comes a to of challenges, but also opportunities. Those who have sex with whoever whenever they want, they don't understand the importance. Especially when you don't share that with someone special, it becomes only temporary pleasure who could hurt the other person. 

It's important for both people to talk about this before you get married. Obviously, this is a talk when you know you will be marrying this person. But make sure you are both on the same page. Once you are, the experience will not only be better, but it will be comfortable for both people. It's easy to feel nervous, in fact. everyone is no matter the experience. My professor pointed out in class today that in movies and shows they always have some alcohol before those scenes. That is because they are all nervous and they don't want to remember. But as members of the church, we don't have to use something to forget, we can do things in a way where we feel comfortable and safe. 

Don't feel like once you're married that this is something that is expected right away. There is a time for everyone. Being careful and cautious is a good thing. Don't let your friends and family influence you or pressure you to just "get it over with". When you're partner values that and is just as cautious as you, that is the person who is the best to do it with. Many feel like they won't be doing things right or feel like they have satisfied their partner; however, it's about focusing on making you feel good.

This is why it's so important that this step is after marriage. There is just so much to think about and shouldn't just happen mindlessly. It will be better in the long run when you wait. Many people are influenced so easily but it isn't until you realize that this is something you wish you had only with the person you will spend the rest of your life with, it changes you. It's a beautiful thing but it's important not to take it for granted. Being from California having sex is pretty common, I got lucky finding a few friends who are also waiting for marriage. I don't judge anyone who has had sex before marriage, but I don't understand their reason for taking pride in it. 

Overall, there are so many other things you can do in life. Live life to the fullest and take the time to find that person you want to spend the rest of your life with, before making a bigger commitment of knowing that person intimately. Make sure both of you feel safe and ready, you both take part and it will not only help the experience but also strengthen your marriage. "The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent and it must be equal" (Frank Pittman).