You Don't Need a Man This Valentine's Day

Does anyone really know when they will meet "the one"? I can tell you with so much reassurance that you don't. I've seen and met so many couples around me and the one thing they all say is "I wasn't expecting it". For all the single people, this advice is mostly for you but all of you in a relationship, maybe this will be good advice as well. I have nothing against dating for one, in fact, I have been on a few here in college as well. However, I know dating is one of the hardest thing people do. I was just talking with a friend about how hard it is to go out and date because everyone has so many different intentions. 

One of the most difficult things our generation faces is first figuring out what a date is. I know that we have changed the phrase "Do you want to go out on a date?" to "Hey do you want to hang out this week?". This may be the most common phrase ever, but it also confuses people so much! Something our class talked about was the meaning of "hang out". There were many answers, but I would say the one that fits the most is that people say hang out so that way they won't have to feel embarrassed about getting rejected. Though this may be understandable, it can alter many things. I was talking to a friend who said that there was a guy who she would hang out with everyday but because they never technically called it a date, she never knew his real feelings towards her. It wasn't until much later where he told her and she felt the same way. Obviously hanging out with someone helps you get to know them more, but just thing of how much faster the process could be! 

Another thing going along with dating is that many youth feel like they are obligated to one person. Don't ever think that you are! When going to college this is the time where so many young people start to date. The one mistake many make is that just because you are going out with someone and you haven't made anything technically official yet, that they can't go out with more people. I have a friend where her mom would tell her to date as many people as she can because that way she can find what she wants in a husband. But the key thing about this is that it's not just about dating for fun, but it's dating with the intent to marry without actually tying yourself down. I hope that made sense haha. Dating is for fun and to help you but it also it helps you learn so much about yourself. There are many things that you may learn about yourself that you never knew, such as hobbies, music taste, etc. You also learn many new skills from those around you which will help you grow as a person to become better. 

Now for those who are planning to get married or are married, this is for you. A lot of the times, especially in the Latter-Day Saint culture, there are many people who say "You're getting married too fast". Which in a sense I agree! I mean marrying someone after only a couple months seems crazy to me! The real question is how do you prepare for marriage? The answer to that is to apply what you learned in dating into marriage. Something that my professor pointed out that I never really noticed is how scared women are to get married because they are afraid things will change; however, men think the opposite in the sense that they think things will stay the same. I'm not married nor am I even close but the one thing to remember before getting married is to ask yourself, can you trust them? How do they make you feel? Do you feel like you will be missing out on so much more? Have you really considered it? Once you can answer those truthfully and know for sure then that's when you go through with it. I'm not saying all rushed marriages won't work, but it's important to realize these things now rather than later. 

Love is such an interesting topic and no one really understands it fully. However, it's just important to reflect on your own life with this person. That will help your thought process on how to approach dating and marriage. It's important that we don't let feelings overcome what's more important, whether it's with someone or another person who you haven't met yet. Don't give up!