Are You Ready for the Married Life?

You're either at the point where marriage is far from your mind, or marriage is the only thing on your mind. Marriage may seem fun and don't get me wrong you'll have those fun moments for the rest of your life! But there are also a lot of things that are not considered.  Two things that are most important to realize when it comes to marriage are cost and commitments. 

The cost to get married can range depending on how, where, and when you get married. A typical wedding would cost about $15k and usually goes up from there. Something to recognize is that you don't need a big wedding. The big question to ask yourself is do you really need a $40k wedding? One thing to take into consideration is that it doesn't matter the cost or how big you have it. In fact, something that might just be nice is to have family there celebrating with you. I know most girls have had their dream wedding planned since they were 6 but it's more about who you want to spend the rest of your life with. 

Some people I know who have gotten married have all had different weddings. First of all, my mom had a pretty traditional which meant it was a pretty pricey wedding; however, they did save money by having it at a church building. With my aunt and uncle, they had a small wedding with a ceremony at my house actually. It was small but they spent a pretty penny on food and champagne. Then I have a friend who actually recently got engaged and got married two days later. They didn't have a ceremony and just wanted to get married to this person. Now I'm not saying that one is better than the other because it's cheaper. In fact, my parents have been married for 20 something years, my aunt and uncle have been married about 10 years, and my friend just got married so we'll see how long that lasts. But pay attention to how you really want to utilize that money because there are so many things that the money could be used for. 

Now that we've gotten past the marriage process, then comes the adjustment process. There is a huge difference between dating, engagement, and marriage. People always think that each process will be the same, and that's where the problem starts. 

Take into consideration the new factors of each process. When dating you are still in the "lovey-dovey" stage. You appeal to each other so much and you don't want to make a fool of yourself so you tend to hide some of your habits. You act as best as possible and you try not to talk about the bigger stuff in life. However, once you get to the engagement stage, lots of the bigger stuff needs to finally be discussed. For one sexual intention have to be discussed because so many times it's hard to resist since you already know you'll be together for eternity. You need to also make sure you know your living plan, any debt either of you has, family relationships, medical history, and much more. 

With marriage, the most important things to consider in the beginning are money, communication, resolving conflicts, living, intimacy, decision making, etc. Then within the first year, some other things that should've been talked about are time management (with spouse and yourself), household tasks, cultural expectations, children, etc. 

Some things to recognize throughout the process and your life is that when things get hard, don't run. it is expected that once you are married there will be times where you may not agree or you just don't want to deal with your spouse that day. Running is the worst option there is, getting through those hardships is what will strengthen your relationship. It not only hurts the other but it hurts your marriage. You now have each other and that is when you must rely on each other. If you go to your parents, especially mothers, usually your husband or wife feels left out. This is something for your parents. Make sure you're there for your child but make sure your child is there for the love of their life.  Take into consideration what you want in a marriage, and if you really want it to last, look at the important things that can either make or break it.